This poem and your reading in the video are so rich. My heart was full hearing about your late partner Connie's touch of safety and what it meant to you. I have yet to experience anything close to that... your words filled my soul with a longing. I have meant to say my condolences to you for the passing of your partner, but I don't really have the right words for that, because I can't even fathom the depth of the loss and grief in you. So, let me send you a warm hug of compassion. May the touch of Connie remain forever as a part of your soul 💕
Lily, thank you. Her loss is five years behind me now, and though a part of me still loves her—and always will—I would have never arrived where I am today if fate hadn’t intervened. Had she lived, I would have stayed with her. We would never have met. I would still be my miserable, over-adapted Judith-self—trapped in obligation and misinterpreted loyalty. I would still be working insane hours, functioning at 200%, surviving rather than living.
So, as grateful as I am for the time we had together and the beautiful memories we created, I am equally grateful to the universe for offering me the chance to become myself again—my authentic, unabashed self—and to begin healing from the wounds of the past. Some of those wounds she, too, left behind.
beautiful, Jay. RIP Connie. she’s not gone, only invisible - that’s what I believe. I’ve had physical reminders of my dead mother that we unexplainable, but in the end, to me, it’s just a reminder that the safety you felt was real and isn’t gone either. what’s more, you don’t need another ‘Connie"‘, so to speak, to find that safety
Andrew, thank you. I agree—I don’t need another her to find safety. I do need to get the f*ck out of Germany, with all its rigidity and normativity. I’m tired of being constantly pushed into boxes I’ve always been too big for—boxes I never fit into in the first place.
And yes, there might be something to the metaphysical realm. Yet I have to admit, I’ve rarely ever felt the presence of those I’ve lost—guiding me, or being there in any meaningful way after their passing.
Beautiful
Thank You Maia, I appreciate you saying so.
This poem and your reading in the video are so rich. My heart was full hearing about your late partner Connie's touch of safety and what it meant to you. I have yet to experience anything close to that... your words filled my soul with a longing. I have meant to say my condolences to you for the passing of your partner, but I don't really have the right words for that, because I can't even fathom the depth of the loss and grief in you. So, let me send you a warm hug of compassion. May the touch of Connie remain forever as a part of your soul 💕
Lily, thank you. Her loss is five years behind me now, and though a part of me still loves her—and always will—I would have never arrived where I am today if fate hadn’t intervened. Had she lived, I would have stayed with her. We would never have met. I would still be my miserable, over-adapted Judith-self—trapped in obligation and misinterpreted loyalty. I would still be working insane hours, functioning at 200%, surviving rather than living.
So, as grateful as I am for the time we had together and the beautiful memories we created, I am equally grateful to the universe for offering me the chance to become myself again—my authentic, unabashed self—and to begin healing from the wounds of the past. Some of those wounds she, too, left behind.
What beautiful words, Jay, she will love hearing them from the other side. RIP Connie.
Francesca, thank you that you think so. I hold your words dearly.
beautiful, Jay. RIP Connie. she’s not gone, only invisible - that’s what I believe. I’ve had physical reminders of my dead mother that we unexplainable, but in the end, to me, it’s just a reminder that the safety you felt was real and isn’t gone either. what’s more, you don’t need another ‘Connie"‘, so to speak, to find that safety
Andrew, thank you. I agree—I don’t need another her to find safety. I do need to get the f*ck out of Germany, with all its rigidity and normativity. I’m tired of being constantly pushed into boxes I’ve always been too big for—boxes I never fit into in the first place.
And yes, there might be something to the metaphysical realm. Yet I have to admit, I’ve rarely ever felt the presence of those I’ve lost—guiding me, or being there in any meaningful way after their passing.
Jay, this is such gentle and gorgeous tribute to your love. Thank you for sharing this with us. 💚
Thank you WilM.