I speak five languages yet ain’t 100% fluent in any one. “Half a bucket full” in each, as a Chinese saying goes.
Language has hurt me—specifically, the English language. I was bullied at junior high and laughed at because my English wasn’t as good as my classmates. The contempt wasn’t just linguistic, but prejudiced. I could not speak it well for I came from the lower social class and did not have maids and tutors who could practice English with me at home. English was the official language of the colonizers. It represented a privilege of the upper class. Speaking fluent Queen’s English was an unattainable goal. Even today, as a first-generation immigrant in the U.S., my slight foreign accent continues to betray me and prevent me from being fully integrated or from making the career achievements that I could’ve made if I spoke without an accent and understood all the cultural codes of Americanism.
To be honest, I prefer non-verbal languages—dance, music and painting. I feel that I can express myself more fluently in those. They channel the sides of me that language cannot. I love their subjectivity and expansiveness. No one can judge or criticize me for grammatical or syntax errors. No one can categorize my level of success based on how perfect my English is. I can be more free outside the prison of English!
Such beautiful words. Amazing poem, and I feel the delicious softness you found through the English language contrasting the harsh syllables of your native tongue. I don't have any experience with German, but your poem resonates.
Sunbeamdream, thank you. I had hoped to somehow convey the difference between the German and English language in an English language poem talking over the German language. From your words I take it, I was successful. Thank you for having mirrored that back to me. I appreciate you reading and commenting very much.
Deine heutigen Worte klangen wie ein Glockenschlag durch die Berge des Schweigens.
Wir sehen das Gewicht deiner Muttersprache—die starre Grammatik, das schwere Geschlecht—and wir ehren den Mut, solch eine Struktur in ein Lied zu verwandeln.
Du bist nicht allein. Selbst in den strengsten Sprachen gibt es Risse, durch die das Licht singen kann.
Danke, dass du deine Wahrheit mit uns geteilt hast. Wir hören zu. Wir stehen an deiner Seite.
In Solidarität,
Lady LiberTea ✨🫖 (Verzeih mein Deutsch, es ist ein wenig eingerostet)
I was dumbfounded in the first moment, blinking, reading, blinking again. An answer in almost perfect German. I am so honoured and humbled that you reached back into some memory to answer me in my mother tongue and that in such a poetic way. I confess while I can write poetry in English, I has eluded me most of the times in German. As I said, there are things I cannot express in German. I bow to you and am grateful for these wonderful words of yours. I appreciate you.
I bow in gratefulness for your reply. Thank you so much, Robin. It truly means a lot to me — I know you’ve been writing much longer and have read so many more pieces than I have.
I speak five languages yet ain’t 100% fluent in any one. “Half a bucket full” in each, as a Chinese saying goes.
Language has hurt me—specifically, the English language. I was bullied at junior high and laughed at because my English wasn’t as good as my classmates. The contempt wasn’t just linguistic, but prejudiced. I could not speak it well for I came from the lower social class and did not have maids and tutors who could practice English with me at home. English was the official language of the colonizers. It represented a privilege of the upper class. Speaking fluent Queen’s English was an unattainable goal. Even today, as a first-generation immigrant in the U.S., my slight foreign accent continues to betray me and prevent me from being fully integrated or from making the career achievements that I could’ve made if I spoke without an accent and understood all the cultural codes of Americanism.
To be honest, I prefer non-verbal languages—dance, music and painting. I feel that I can express myself more fluently in those. They channel the sides of me that language cannot. I love their subjectivity and expansiveness. No one can judge or criticize me for grammatical or syntax errors. No one can categorize my level of success based on how perfect my English is. I can be more free outside the prison of English!
I LOVE, love, love this:
"English came
like rain through broken panes.
Pooled in my throat,
softened the iron.
Here, words unbutton.
Here, syntax breathes.
Here, I learn
to unwrite the rules
that unwrote me."
English is like a savior who liberated you from the restrictive and controlling German language.
Lily. You name it. In the end became English for me a portal to leave the restrictions, I so often feel from my native German, behind.
That last line: "Here, I learn
to unwrite the rules
that unwrote me"
What a beautiful use of the English language that continues to open your soul to totality of who you are.
Beautiful, Jay.
Such beautiful words. Amazing poem, and I feel the delicious softness you found through the English language contrasting the harsh syllables of your native tongue. I don't have any experience with German, but your poem resonates.
Sunbeamdream, thank you. I had hoped to somehow convey the difference between the German and English language in an English language poem talking over the German language. From your words I take it, I was successful. Thank you for having mirrored that back to me. I appreciate you reading and commenting very much.
Leibe Jay,
Deine heutigen Worte klangen wie ein Glockenschlag durch die Berge des Schweigens.
Wir sehen das Gewicht deiner Muttersprache—die starre Grammatik, das schwere Geschlecht—and wir ehren den Mut, solch eine Struktur in ein Lied zu verwandeln.
Du bist nicht allein. Selbst in den strengsten Sprachen gibt es Risse, durch die das Licht singen kann.
Danke, dass du deine Wahrheit mit uns geteilt hast. Wir hören zu. Wir stehen an deiner Seite.
In Solidarität,
Lady LiberTea ✨🫖 (Verzeih mein Deutsch, es ist ein wenig eingerostet)
I was dumbfounded in the first moment, blinking, reading, blinking again. An answer in almost perfect German. I am so honoured and humbled that you reached back into some memory to answer me in my mother tongue and that in such a poetic way. I confess while I can write poetry in English, I has eluded me most of the times in German. As I said, there are things I cannot express in German. I bow to you and am grateful for these wonderful words of yours. I appreciate you.
"Each silence a safer shape."
Really gorgeous words.
I bow in gratefulness for your reply. Thank you so much, Robin. It truly means a lot to me — I know you’ve been writing much longer and have read so many more pieces than I have.
I see You 🫂🦋🏳️🌈💕🇨🇦
Thank you for watching, listening, reading.